Relationships are complicated, and each culture has its own way of going about it. After my near lifelong residence outside Korea, I did not have a great understanding of the characteristics of dating in Korea. All I had to go on were the rare Korean dramas that I had glimpses of online. After my return, and after getting to see Koreans in relationships around me, I made some interesting, even surprising, observations. Most foreign students may not have the same sort of understanding; however, they may have noticed some of these “nuances,” and may very well be nodding with something in mind.

 

One of the things that surprise most foreigners is this idea of “couple rings.” It is a ring that couples wear to show that they are in a in a relationship. The ring is worn on the ring finger, which is why most foreigners mistake it for an engagement ring. It is hard to get a consensus on the exact meaning behind the ring or the period it is exchanged between the couple. Some say that the ring is a sign of the two’s investment in the relationship, only without the vow of engagement, while others do not put much meaning into it, viewing it purely as an exciting thing couples can do together. A wide disparity is shown even on when the ring is made, ranging from a few months into their relationship to years after. The practice is not shared by everyone in Korea, and it is definitely not part of Korea’s traditional culture, but somewhere along the way, the ritual found its way into Korea’s society. Although it is not an obligatory step in the relationship, the fact that the vast majority of Koreans are aware and accepting of couple rings makes it a rather interesting phenomenon.

 

Another thing that most foreigners may find different in Korean relationships is the amount of anniversaries couples keep track of. The most internationally agreed upon definition of anniversaries in this context is probably the yearly celebration of the day that the couple officially started dating or got married. However, Koreans have a tendency to go beyond that. Many Korean couples attribute significance to the number of days since the start of their relationship. It is not uncommon to see couples getting ready for an event on the 100th day of their relationship. The important dates do not stop at just the 100th day, but on all the multiples of hundred, including the thousands.

 

Amidst all this, one may wonder where it all stems from. It seems like the motivator for these rituals are Korean women. It is not hard to see that most Korean women are fixated on adorable and romantic relationship atmospheres, and this pursuit is notably stronger than that of their male partners. This trend seems to shape the overall nuances in relationships within Korea. The Korean attitude towards relationships can also be seen on the variety of television programs that are popular amongst young Koreans. Programs like We Got Married, where celebrities show what their life would be like if they were to get married; Couples (Jjak), where 12 ordinary men and women enter a “love village” to find their match for marriage; and a variety of romantic dramas all show a more passive woman secretly wanting a more romantically active man to move her with grand romantic gestures. The display of such romance only fuels the female viewers of their ideals of men to be as depicted on the media. In fact, some reports even talk about foreign women traveling to Korea, anticipating Korean men to be as romantic as they have seen on the shows from abroad.

 

Perhaps women as motivators of these rituals are what help keep the romance alive. Perhaps they encourage the men to be romantic and proactive in the relationship. Whatever the case, it is certain that this factor is what makes Korean dating life distinct in its own way.