My life as a student had been marked with achievements and top grades, probably not unlike most people in KAIST. Consistently hard-working, always knowing the correct answers, endlessly aiming for the best score in class — these were the typical characteristics of a good student that I embodied (emphasis on the past tense). Ever since I went to high school in Korea Science Academy (KSA) of KAIST, which is considered one of the “genius schools” in the country, I’ve felt like I wasn’t a “good student” anymore. But although I did not learn how to get perfect scores and stellar grades in KSA and in KAIST, I learned something much more valuable: how to fail. 

Graduating from KSA and studying in KAIST comes with a certain set of expectations. People usually associate these high-profile schools with intelligence and thus with high-achieving, perfect-GPA students. Because of these expectations, I’ve experienced more stress in the six years that I’ve been in Korea than in the 15 years prior to coming here. I remember the first time I got a B-, in my high school physics class. I cried. I was devastated that my “perfect” academic record of mostly As was ruined. I can laugh about it now, but back then, it felt like the end of the world. Now in my third year at KAIST, I’ve gotten my fair share of Bs and Cs, and yes, even some Ds in my report card — and that’s okay. I have come to realize that there is so much more to life than getting good grades. 

Many students can probably relate to that feeling of studying as much as you can but not getting a grade that is worth all your efforts. I’ve experienced the frustration and disappointment that comes along with it so many times now, and I still often blame myself for not doing well enough. But the reality is that grades are not an accurate reflection of one’s capabilities. Most classes in KAIST grade students based on two exams out of a whole semester’s worth of hard work, and that is not enough basis to determine how well you’ve learned something. The grading system is a “cookie-cutter” approach to education; it rewards only the type of student that does well in timed exams, but it doesn’t recognize students who excel in other ways. For instance, I would probably do better on and definitely enjoy long-term projects that require creativity and critical thinking, instead of taking an insanely difficult exam in two hours. Because of the grading criteria in most classes, students are often pressured to study in a way that maximizes their scores in exams, as opposed to studying for the sake of learning. 

It is because of this reality that I have lost interest in maintaining a perfect GPA. Korea is especially known for its pressure-cooker education system that puts much emphasis on grades — and sadly, this will most likely not change in the near future. But what I’ve realized is that I do not have to conform to this standard; I have tried and it just made me miserable. I have accepted that I do not fit in this system, and that’s okay. 

Getting mediocre and sometimes even bad grades is part of the college experience. I have learned much more from getting Cs and Ds than any class can ever teach me. Being a good student does not always mean having the right answers — having the humility to accept that you can’t always be perfect and knowing where to ask for help is much more important. And sometimes, failing to meet your other’s and your own expectations is inevitable. You just have to learn how to handle the failures and to do a little better next time.