Our generation has had almost our whole lives captured in photos, down to the mundane day-to-day activities. Dubbed the “selfie generation”, we have grown up with the modern technology that gave rise to the ubiquity of photographs. Although there is an argument for living in the moment versus obsessively taking photographs of every single thing, I have always enjoyed preserving memories in my camera roll. There is an assurance in taking photos, since unlike memories, they will never fade. Whenever I feel sad or homesick, my Photos app would comfort me with pictures of family vacations, Christmas feasts, and outings with friends. It brings a melancholic feeling, but I would almost always feel better that I have these photos to remember those moments by. But after being stuck in my dorm room for the most part of the past year, there haven’t been many occasions that I wanted to remember and photograph. 

There is a glaring transition in my camera roll before and during the pandemic. Pre-pandemic, although weekdays would inevitably be full of photos of lecture notes, homework announcements, and dorm cats, they are cheerfully interspersed with weekend and vacation photos — rollerskating with friends, eating out in big groups, and visiting new places. Looking back at these memories is nostalgic at best, but these days, a sharp sting of sadness accompanies it. Gone are the times when I would gladly plan a weekend away, or be able to go home and reset after a long semester. I am left with browsing and occasionally sending old photos to family and friends, promising to do it all again once this is all over.

Pre COVID

Except we don’t really know when the end of the pandemic will be. All the photos from before 2020 seem surreal now; the pictures of big crowds and maskless groups bring anxiety and seem not normal. Old travel photos bring a wistfulness that comes from being stuck in one place for more than a year. And there are small things, too; I never thought I would miss those times when we took pictures of whiteboards in lecture halls, now that they’ve become replaced with screenshots of Zoom meetings. Scrolling through these photos made me realize that there are so many things I took for granted. They are a painful reminder of times past, with no clear idea when and if we can ever go back. 

Although my Photos app reflects the challenges from this pandemic through an absence of “significant” memories, it also shows a better appreciation of the small moments that got me through the hard times. There are photos of the hobbies I took up as a respite from the craziness of the world: hand-brewing coffee, embroidery, and gardening. I managed to grow a sunflower and a morning glory plant from seeds for the first time (I’m very proud). There are more pictures of nature and sunsets, as I learned to appreciate and enjoy the long walks and bike rides I took to clear my mind. There are masked selfies, and mask-less, makeup-free photos that are more reflective of my natural state. My camera roll is now filled with slower, but not any less significant moments.

During COVID

When I scroll through my photos years from now, 2020 to 2021 will (hopefully) stand out from its lack of group photos and memorable moments. But instead of seeing this as a time when life was put on hold, I hope I can look at the photos of these small, inconsequential things and remember the strength it took and the lessons I’ve learned. And I hope I can learn to document these small moments of happiness and struggle once the pandemic is over, too. After all, preserving moments through photographs — no matter how big or small — is important, because we’ll never know what we might miss in the future.