As the days get longer and warmer, and as the threat of the pandemic diminishes with the promise of vaccination, the desire to go outside and enjoy the summer is getting stronger. I can’t wait for slow and lazy days relaxing in the sunshine, and I definitely need the opportunity to abandon the stresses of the semester. But the prospect of a social summer brings its own stress too — the expectation to emerge from the COVID lockdown cocoon as a thin, toned, bikini-clad butterfly. The tyranny of the “summer body”, from which we had a brief reprieve in the madness of 2020, has returned with a vengeance this year. 

Click-bait articles and social media influencers are now advising us on the best way to lose the “quarantine fifteen”. Diet vlogs and weight loss programs are trending; they are one symptom of an extensive and insidious societal construction of the ideal body image:  trimmed, tanned, and toned. The perennially beautiful (read: skinny) models advertising the latest clothes or products seem to be taunting us, telling us that it is through our own shortcomings and lack of discipline that we don’t fit their standard. We are expected to slim down for summer swimwear, following intense programs designed to capitalize on insecurity.

In Korea, while there is perhaps a less explicit focus on having the summer body, this is replaced by a more implicit expectation of thinness at all times of year. Idol diet culture and a seemingly national obsession with appearance make for a weight-loss discourse that might be even worse than in the West, with much less of an existing body-positive counterculture. But around the world, the anticipation of no longer being able (or wanting) to stay at home in an oversized hoodie creates the same stress — the belief forced upon us that it’s necessary to look permanently picture perfect to go out in public.

The concept of a “summer body” — perfect for just one season — encourages crash dieting, with little interest in long-term health or maintenance once the days cool off and we can no longer go out in swimwear. Although many of the plans and programs promise to get you “toned with five simple exercises”, they are accompanied by insanely restrictive diet plans that encourage women to eat no more than the recommended amount for a toddler, while cutting out sugar, fats, carbs, gluten, or any other number of delicious food groups that make up an excellent and necessary part of a healthy balanced diet. This is — of course — completely unsustainable, and encourages a cycle of yo-yo dieting and short-term excessive exercise that can wreak havoc on physical and mental health. It’s all too easy for people to become obsessed with controlling their lifestyle as a way to achieve the perfect body in time to show it off.

In the heat of summer four years ago, my eighteen-year-old self thought of little else; I was determined to enter adulthood in what I believed to be the best condition. I remember one day feeling proud that I had only eaten a handful of grapes by evening, focused not on the uncomfortable twinge of hunger or my lightheadedness, but on the flatness of my stomach. And when I could trace the ridges of my ribs, or fit a hand in the gap between my thighs, I only felt satisfaction — every notch of the belt I tightened became an achievement, a signal of my diminishing form and increasing power. Controlling my hunger and successfully pushing my body into submission to the supposedly perfect ideal was a disturbingly rewarding endeavor; I equated the decreasing number on the scale with the attainment of the body I should have. Dieting and restricting led me to dangerous and unhealthy behavior that — while it gave me an enviable “summer” figure — ultimately undermined my ability to feel comfortable in my own body. Because where was the stopping point? There always seemed to be something left that I should improve, and, looking back, I was on the verge of spiralling out of control into an eating disorder or worse.

It’s only been gradually that I have managed to escape that mindset, and the prospect of upcoming beach days make the same thoughts return more often than I care to admit. At least now though, with hindsight and a little less impressionability, I can recognize both the external pressures that cause these feelings and the harm they can (and did) do. Though it still takes some conscious effort, I refuse to be guilty for eating and enjoying cake when I want it, and I refuse to apologize for accepting and loving my body that no longer perfectly conforms. If you want to lose weight to feel strong, healthy, and attractive in your body and go about it in a managed and steady way, I’m all for it. But my “hot girl summer” this year is not going to depend on my ability to fit a fabricated idea of the perfect body, but on self-acceptance, confidence, and the realization that there is more than one way to be beautiful.

Your body is carrying you through a pandemic. It allows you to experience the beauty of the world, and the joy of being with those you love. Summer is nearly upon us, and you have a body to appreciate it with, in whatever clothes, places, or company that will make you happy. I think that’s the only definition of a summer body that we need.